Dating a recovering alcoholic first year
I have since told her, but didn't tell her of the relationship while it was happening for fear that she wouldn't approve..isn't good.
The good news is, I didn't drink over it, and I didn't have the urge.
Who I sleep with is mine." BILL: "When the speaker at my first Alcoholic Anonymous meeting began preaching about no new relationships the first year sober, my first thought was, 'I need a drink,'" writes Eddie. "If we hooked up, we'd have a common goal -- helping each other stay sober. BILL: Therefore I turned to Joe Schrank, co-founder of The Fix, one of the best recovery websites I know.
When you're turning your life around 180 degrees, let the dust settle. BILL: "There was a very good looking woman at the meeting," Eddie goes on. DAVE: On the face of it, a seemingly sensible idea.
DAVE: ..to end up in an intimate tete-a-tete complaining about how nobody understands them and isn't it a spiritual message that they ended up -- ta da! BILL: As a psychologist, Dave, what do you tell someone newly recovering about the wisdom of postponing their sexual drives for a while? DAVE: Our clinical findings are that when you become addicted, your interpersonal development often goes into hibernation.
I am upset that I put my recovery in danger..relieved that I had the tools to not drink in the end. One day I hope to be able to find true love and have a man in my life..now I just need God and this program. Heather Lo LAlways a great Topic When I work with sponsees, I tell them what the fellowship says (no new blah blah)I tell them what the BB says (we want to stay out of this controversy)I tell them my experience (train wreck of wreckage, incredible pain, hurting others, hurting myself, being in a relationship is like giving my character defects crack, blah blah yawn snore etc)I tell them it's not recommended but ultimately they always do what they are going to do anyway, the rules don't apply to them, they are "different" blah blah just like you (and me) When they come crawling back beat to a pulp, they sound just like you (and me) they are ready to follow direction and get real, and apply themselves to the steps, personally I think it's part of the process (for people who get sober young(er))we learn from our mistakes, and pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth (because pain is the only thing that gets us off our asses to do the work)We are bludgeoned into sobriety, into humility, into honesty, because the pain is just too great otherwise Truthfully, the only thing I see "wrong" is (since I have been around awhile) the old timers who are most emphatic and controlling about this were either married, or did it themselves, which makes it a "do as I say not as I do/did" which is the EXACT opposite of "AA" which is "this is what it was like, this is what happened, this is what it's like now"In AA our liabilities, our suffering and the lessons we learned become our assets, not standing on a soap box and telling others not to make the same mistakes we did and not even admitting we did them My God let me make all my own mistakes, so did my sponsors, I try to do the same Now you know what happens for many of us when we get involved too early, the bad news is that happens regardless, just with some time and a few passes into the steps we have better tools to learn how to do it differently, celibacy doesn't make us better at relationships, only relationships make us better at relationships, celibacy gives us time to build a foundation in order to have tools to be better in relationships It is necessary that we extricate from an examination of our personal relations every bit of information about ourselves and our fundamental difficulties that we can.
Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one.
They tell me in AA that I shouldn't get into a relationship in the first year of sobriety, at least..I tell myself I've been doing so well in my recovery, CLEARLY this suggestion doesn't apply to me. I am making amends to people, I am recognizing my part in problems, I am more positive, spiritual, I'm making PROGRESS! I called him all kinds of names and accused him of being a man-child incapable of emotional maturity. I realize I am as sick in romantic relationships as I am in regards to drinking.
I have had two divorces and countless failed attempts at relationships.the common factor is ME. I feel so lonely and want a boyfriend to fill the loneliness. One night he stood me up and I got really angry and started acting out.
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Without their addiction-given powers of denial, delusion and intoxication, people like Eddie find they're like a socially inept 16-year old in the body of a 32-year-old- man.